10 Weeks

I'm just over 10 weeks pregnant and still feeling dreadful.  I was offered a prescription for an anti-nausea medication but turned it down because I feel very uncertain about taking any medications during pregnancy, especially in the sensitive first trimester when baby's proper development is so crucial.  I survived my battle against nausea with Weston's pregnancy so I can do it again, right? Sometimes it's so tempting to call the Dr. back and say that I changed my mind and I want the meds!! I've got a pretty big week coming up at work and I'm nervous about how I'm going to feel and how that will factor in to the events of the week.

Thanks to Tom's weight loss over this last year and the fact that I've already gained almost 10 pounds since I found out I was pregnant, I'm about to pass up my husband in the weight department which is not something I feel great about.   I'm one of those pregnant people who puts on weight EVERYWHERE!  Even my cheeks and forehead gain extra weight, lest there should be a famine and the baby needs to eat! In the almost-two-years that it took me to lose all the baby weight I gained with Weston, I told myself that I was not going to let this happen again the next time I was pregnant.  But, here we are again and history is repeating itself.

 My food choices are so hormonally driven and my body seems to be in starvation mode where it conserves every calorie possible and deposits it to my hips, rear, stomach, thighs, arms-even my fingers and my face! I swear even my eyelids get fatter. Baby has been wanting salty carbs this week so I've been eating Ramen noodles, Michelina's frozen fettucine alfredo, and french fries.  These are all foods I would normally avoid but when I'm pregnant, salty carbs are the only foods that seem to sooth my nauseated tummy. Already, none of my pants or bras fit.  I've moved into using a belly band to hide my unbuttoned pants.  All this happened last time too, but not by 10 weeks in!  I've pretty much resolved myself to face the fact that I'm going to be gigantic again-potentially even more gigantic than last time.  I'm not one of those pregnant ladies that gets a cute little bump in the front and continues to exercise and smile through a pleasant pregnancy.  My entire body swells from day one all the way to the moment of delivery and I end up with a laundry list of physical ailments and even some very scary health concerns along the way. So, for me, pregnancy has been a very scary thing and it's hard not to fall into the same patterns of dread and fear. I'm trying to keep my eyes focused on the end result which, God willing, will be a healthy baby.

Since this is a family blog and not Sara's personal "complain about pregnancy" blog, I suppose I could update you on the boys.  Without going into detail, Tom is great.  Weston is great.  We all had a very nice Valentine's Day. Here is some pictoral proof that they are alive and well.